christophe thinks out loud

Idiot Customer of the Week, part 1

First candidate . . .

We have an option by which the customer does not receive item details in their confirmation emails. This particular customer wrote in asking that item details be turned off, which we did. The acknowledgment we sent back had our slogan, "Good Products for Great Sex" in the .sig line (just like all of our confirmation emails do). In reply, we receive this charming missive (James is the CS manager who sent the first email):

James you idiot: I sent y'all an email asking to exclude item details, for really obvious reasons such as privacy and discreteness. So you felt it necessary to send me an email that includes "Good Products for Great Sex." Surely if you just put your mind to it, you can come up with something even more obvious and entertaining for the two people with whom I share this computer at work. Would you like for me to give you their telephone numbers, so you can call them directly and tell them all about it? And it ain't like an entity named "Blowfish" isn't unusual or strange, in and of itself. So by all means, send me as many unnecessary emails as possible, until someone here gets curious enough to google "Blowfish."

And here is how I felt like replying . . .

Dear Moron,

Let me get this straight: You use a work email that you share with two other people to order sex products from us, and then you complain that we're not doing enough to keep your conversation private? When free email addresses are available by the wheelbarrow-load? And, then, you complain that someone might search for "Blowfish"? What, precisely, should we do? Get a fucking Hotmail account just to send you, personally, email? Maybe we could come up with our own personal little code to tell you about your order. Or maybe Pig Latin. Ouryay ugehay analway ildoday orfay ammingray upway ouryay atherray izablesay assholeway ashay ippedshay, oronmay.

Get a grip, please. And please remember that, among human beings, opening a conversation with "You idiot" is considered the sign of an idiot, you idiot.

Love and kisses,
Christophe,
President,
The Blowfish Corporation

So, instead, I called him, told him that I didn't appreciate my staff being addressed that way, and that I was canceling his order and we would not do business with him. He sounded flabbergasted. I felt much better.

posted 14:29